How I found my baby girl/little

A few Doms have asked me to call them Daddy and it felt ridiculous. I mean I have a Dad who’s alive and well and part of my life.

I met my Daddy through a friend and he wanted to be my Dom. As we were getting to know each other he kept calling me princess and baby girl as nicknames. I kept feeling like calling him Daddy but I wasn’t sure how he would respond. He’s never been a Daddy before. So one day I just explained to him how I was feeling and asked his permission to call him Daddy. He said yes! Ever since then it has felt comfortable, natural and safe. I don’t think I can call every Dom Daddy. I just know right now I’m with my Daddy and my little and I’m so happy. That’s how I found my baby girl/little.

Advertisements

Found out

So this year I found out I’m a little. I like to be called little girl, babygirl and princess. I like to color and I love Tinker Bell. I’m also a masochist and a sub. I’ve been told I have natural slave tendencies. Now I have a Daddy and I love him. How could I not he helped find myself. But life gets in the way of play and I miss the belt. I miss the horse whip. I miss the nipple torture and spankings. I even miss the evil stinging riding crop. So now it’s time for me to be an adult and realize life isn’t always about me getting my needs met. Yet I feel abandoned.

One of the reasons I left my marriage of 22 yrs in October is because everything came before us. The second reason is he wouldn’t Dom me and he certainly would never be my Daddy or Master. So I can’t meet these needs on my own but how the hell am I supposed to find a man who can give me what I need when I’m frickin 46 and live in Alaska. It’s ridiculous. I might as well give up now.

So yeah I found out but it’s way to late!

The deadline approaches

My Daddy said he would leave his wife by June. Well I knew he wouldn’t and I am starting to have a lot of guilt because of what I am helping do to his wife. She doesn’t deserve this. She never has. He says she’s leaving him. He’s lying and I know it. The really sad part is “We only accept the love we think we deserve”. So why does my loneliness trump her happiness? It doesn’t and while I know he will continue to treat her badly I do not have to participate any longer. I am gathering the courage to end this I swear. I already tried once but I caved. So far I’ve been able to ignore his texts. Wish me luck! The deadline approaches!

Who am I and what does it mean?

I am still working on self discovery but I have learned a lot during the last year though. First I am submissive. I also have some natural slave tendencies. I am a masochist. Most of all and the most recent discovery is that I’m a little girl or lg.
I have read many different different descriptions in my attempt to educate myself on the Dd/lg dynamic.

For me being a little is having a young heart and an innocence that is very real. She is an integral part of my daily life. When Daddy calls me babygirl or princess I grin from ear to ear. I feel happy, loved, acknowledged and safe. I do not have a specific age. This is not role play. I had a Tinker Bell blanket for 2 years before I discovered my “little”. I own all of the Tink movies. Given to me by my adult children who know nothing about my lifestyle. Anyway, I love to color, I love my stuffies and I want to dress up and have tea parties with my little friends. On the other hand I have very adult sex with my Dom/daddy and I like to dress adult sexy when going out at night. But I love to dress young and girly otherwise. I giggle a lot no matter where I am…giggle.
My vanilla friends don’t even know about Dd/lg yet accept that I’m young “at heart”…giggle. That there are crayons and coloring books on the coffee table and stuffies on my bed. I’m 46. All of my friends are in their 20’s. Only my Daddy is almost as old as me.
I’m very lucky I know. I acted the part of grown up while I raised my kids. Now they are grown and I get to embrace my little morning, noon and night. Heck I even call my Daddy, Daddy in public. Most people think I’m eccentric lol. I don’t age play or role play. I live it 24/7 and for that I am so grateful.
So if your still trying to figure out who you are and what it means in this dynamic, I hope this gives you another insight into how diverse we can be.

I am Cowboys little susie q and I am a little/masochist/sub and that means I am while.

Gone!

My Daddy is gone for 3 days. My little heart is broken. He’s still choosing her over me. He says she’s leaving but not when. I think he is just saying he thinks he can make her leave.

I found out when he stayed with me that halfway through our relationship he was still trying to make things work with her. I’m so stupid. I knew. I knew that he would never leave her but he suckered me.

OMG what have I been thinking? I guess I haven’t been. Little susie w has. She’s going to fall apart when the deadline comes next month. Or should I say in a week?

He’s gone!

I want attention NOW!

I want attention! NOW! Why am I waiting. I deserve attention. I am worthy. I’ve been told so anyway. I want attention! Argh! I hate being left alone. I’m alone all day dang it! I saw Daddy for an hour today. I have no one to talk to. I must find a Daddy with time for me.

I want attention! NOW!